Widowmaker Rewind
by uniquelyjas
Summary: A friend of mine asked, "What would have happened to MacGyver if Murdoc hadn't shown up at Pete's cabin?" Here is my answer!


**Widowmaker Rewind**

Nikki followed MacGyver up the ramp from the floating dock, grabbing his arm to turn him toward her before they reached the door to Pete's cabin.

"I don't understand how you can go on blaming yourself! You didn't push her, did you?!" she asked emphatically.

"Yes! Yes, I did!" Mac shot back. "I pushed her away when she needed something from me. I hurt her. And she fell."

"And there wasn't anything you could do to save her, was there?"

"It's not as simple as that," MacGyver said as Nikki maneuvered herself in front of him to block the doorway.

"Ya know somethin'," she began, "The funny thing about runnin' away is that you gotta take yourself with ya."

"Look Nikki, there's somethin' I want you to understand," Mac said, staring blankly over her shoulder.

"What?"

"Nothin'," MacGyver grumbled after a long pause. "Just get outta here. And tell Pete to mind his own business."

"Fine!" Nikki exclaimed in frustration, throwing her hands up in the air. "Have it your way! Like you always do!" She turned on her heel, charged out the front door, and hopped into her truck which, thankfully, started on the first crank. She then punched the accelerator, tires spewing gravel in her wake.

Mumbling under her breath about how pig-headed and insufferable MacGyver could be, she gasped when she saw a rusted grey pick-up truck, its front bumper smashed into the trunk of a tree, radiator steaming as a familiar figure fruitlessly kicked at a tire. She slammed on the brakes and rolled down her window.

"Excuse me!" she called to the man in the sunglasses and cowboy hat that practically covered his face. "Are you all right?!"

"I'm fine, ma'am. Just fine," he responded, gathering his composure and turning slightly towards her.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Must've driven over a sharp rock," the man drawled. "Blew a tire, lost control, and slammed into that tree."

"Well, you're gonna need a tow. Hop in and I'll take you back to Ellard's. We can call a garage from there."

"That's mighty nice of you, ma'am. But I can manage."

"Nonsense! You helped me when my truck wouldn't start. It's only fair that I return the favor."

The man hesitantly walked around the back of Nikki's truck and climbed into the passenger seat.

"So, what brings you up this way?" she asked once they were on the move. "I thought the only thing back this far was my friend's cabin."

"I'm a bit of a photography buff. Like to take pictures of Widow's Canyon whenever I'm in the area."

It wasn't long before she once again parked her truck outside the general store she had visited before heading to see MacGyver.

"Ellard, would you mind if we used your phone?" she asked as she walked through the doorway, the man right behind her.

"Wouldn't mind at all if the dang thing was workin'!" the old man replied. "Cut out right in the middle of my conversation! I tell ya, service up here is for the birds!"

Nikki felt a pang of disappointment but rallied a smile for her fellow traveler. "I guess that means you'll ride with me to the next town. I'm sure they have a mechanic. It'll probably take a few days to get your truck fixed, but I saw this little motel on my way here that looked kinda nice."

"I'm much obliged, ma'am," the man muttered as Nikki reached over, turned on the radio, and began to hum along to the familiar tune. She had no idea she had just single-handedly ruined his latest and greatest chance at redemption.

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MacGyver watched Nikki peel away from the cabin before turning to inspect the two grocery sacks she had left on the counter. He had been dreading the trip to Ellard's for some much needed supplies, but now it looked like he could hold out a couple more weeks before having to face civilization. He stowed the perishables in the refrigerator before flopping down on the bed only to stare at the ceiling.

 _There wasn't anything you could do to save her._ Nikki's words rang through his head as the never-ending reel of Mike's fall replayed itself. No, there was something he could have done. Something he _should_ have done. Sitting on a narrow ledge halfway up the sheer rock face of The Widowmaker was not the place to rebuff a woman's love. Why hadn't he told Mike he wanted more than friendship as well? At least until they were safely on solid ground. Surely a little white lie wouldn't have done too much damage to their relationship, but no. He had to be good ole, straight-up, honest MacGyver and tell her right then and there that he just didn't have those kinds of feelings for her and, in doing so, he killed his best friend and shattered his world.

Soon he felt his legs begin to twitch and his muscles contract. His body wasn't accustomed to so much inactivity. He swung himself up and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. Eventually he stood up and stretched the kinks out of his back before grabbing his canteen, filling it with tap water, and stuffing a few granola bars in his jacket pocket. A good long hike in the woods would calm his mind and exhaust him physically if nothing else.

He didn't much care where or how long he tramped through the forest, but suddenly he found himself at the base of the rock that had claimed Mike's life, as if he had been pulled there by a magnet. He squeezed his eyes shut as images of the accident revved through his brain. _I pushed her...I pushed her...I pushed her._

Darkness had long since blanketed the landscape by the time MacGyver returned to Pete's cabin. After chomping on an apple and tossing the core in the trash, Mac allowed his weary body to collapse on the thin mattress and settled in for a predictably restless slumber.

" _Falling!" Mike called a millisecond before she hurtled past him. Holding her safety lines, the force of the fall turned MacGyver into the face of the rock before sitting him down on the ledge. He scrambled to his feet the best he could, all the while holding the rope taut like the lifeline it was. "Mike! Mike!" he called, but she had hit her head and dangled unconscious below him. Mac stood on the ledge, mind racing, not knowing what to do. He couldn't risk moving because that might slacken the rope and allow her to fall even further and possibly take him with her. He'd have to pull her up from where he stood. A daunting task since she would be dead weight and he had little leverage. Suddenly, the heaviness at the end of the rope let go, causing him to once again fall to the ledge, landing on his stomach. It was from that vantage point that he watched Mike's body barrel toward the canyon floor._

MacGyver bolted upright in bed, his hair and body damp with sweat. He had this same nightmare every night. More accurately, several times each night. But this time it felt different, as if a minute detail that had previously been missing was struggling to come to light. He instinctively knew what he had to do. He had to climb The Widowmaker...again.

The morning sun had barely risen above the eastern horizon as MacGyver stood at the base of the rock that had taken his friend's life. Laden with harness, ropes, and other essential climbing equipment, he looked up at the formidable ascent ahead. He took a deep breath and wiped his already sweaty palms on his pant legs. He was breaking the first rule of rock climbing by going alone, and he was sure he'd break more as the day went on, but he couldn't shake the feeling in his gut that The Widowmaker held answers to questions he didn't yet know how to ask. He took one more deep breath and heard Mike's encouraging voice: _By the numbers. One step at a time._

The first several feet were easier than MacGyver had remembered. He quickly found solid foot and hand-holds, confidently scaling the face of the rock. Perhaps the second time around would be easier...he hoped. Unfortunately, his optimism was short-lived as the surface became smoother, steeper, and less familiar. Silent reminders to keep his focus upward and not look down soon became his mantra. Thoughts of Mike's accident got pushed aside as Mac's current endeavor demanded all of his attention. The muscles in his arms and legs began to burn as he came upon the outcropping where he, himself, had fallen and battled a terrifying case of vertigo. But Mike had been there to talk him through it. Today he was on his own. From there it was only a short climb to the ledge where he and Mike had stopped to rest. Where Mike had asked for the one thing he could not give her. Where he had lain, helpless, as Mike plummeted to her death. Now, he sat on that ledge, his back pressed against the rock wall. He glanced down to find Mike's chalk bag sitting next to him. He gently picked it up as a fresh wave of grief washed over him. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep threatening tears at bay. When the moment passed, he once again began to look around. This time, with a more studied gaze. He had come up here seeking...something. He trusted he would know it when he saw it.

Seconds later Mac spied Mike's rope and reeled it in. It was stiff and sturdy, the end expertly fastened to a carabiner that had attached the rope to her harness. Only there was a piece of red, frayed nylon attached to the carabiner as well. MacGyver stared at it, not quite believing what the evidence told him had to be true. Mike's harness had broken. That was the missing piece of the puzzle! Mike dangling in the air one moment, then tumbling to the ground the next _when her harness broke._ Nikki had been right. This hadn't been his fault. He couldn't have done anything to save her. Even if he had immediately started pulling on her rope, the added strain would still have caused the harness to break apart. It was inexplicably faulty equipment that had led to her death. Not him. As the burden of guilt he had so needlessly carried these past weeks eased from his shoulders, he tipped his head back and allowed tears of grief and relief to flow freely. When he closed his eyes, he no longer saw Mike plunging to the earth, but her, him, and Jack laughing and carefree as they wandered through Europe and Asia. College behind them and their future still ahead. He saw the Mike that had been full of life, eager for their next adventure. The Mike that had been his best friend. The Mike that he had loved in his own special way.

The loud cry of a bird of prey shattered Mac's reverie. With a light heart and clear eyes, he reassessed his position. After Mike's fall, he had been pried off the ledge by chopper rescue personnel. He doubted that was an option today. Not wanting to tempt fate by looking down, he looked up instead.

"Aw, man!" he sighed.

Today would be the day he conquered The Widowmaker.


End file.
